The Brat and the Brainiac Page 6

  “I am not. I’m just thinking of the day Uncle Tommy told me he’s sending me to charm school. That’s what he said, that he doesn’t know how to teach me all those girly, fussy things.”

  Ignatius puts his phone down and smiles.

  “As I remember it, you weren’t too happy about it.”

  “I was once I went. It was just that word ‘school’ that got me.”

  “Go get a book. If you can walk all the way across the kitchen with it on your head, I’ll give you another shot. Like beer pong, but with manners.”

  “Let’s wait for Kevin. He’ll think it’s funny, too.”

  A few minutes later, Kevin arrives and we fill him in on what’s happening. As the two of them watch from the bar, I walk all the way across the room with a heavy hard back book on my head. Ignatius calls me over and gives me a shot like he promised, and Kevin snatches up the book.

  “Let me try,” he says, going back to the doorway with the book in his hand. He makes it pretty far before the book slides off his head, so Ignatius and I decide he deserves a shot, too. Once he sucks it up, Ignatius has to give it a try.

  “Keep your head level,” Kevin tells him, as he puts the book, teetering, on his head.

  “You’re a conehead,” I laugh. “You’ll never make it.”

  “Yes, I will. Watch.”

  He’s tall, so he takes big strides and crosses the room in just a few steps. He makes it a little farther than Kevin did, so we allow him a shot.

  “Wait a second,” I say. “Let me set the table and we’ll have a quiz.”

  “Speaking of which, I thought you were supposed to be studying,” Ignatius tells me.

  “Oh, I will after.”

  “You’ll be drunk after.”

  “Shush. Just one more shot and I’ll go do it.”

  So I go out to the dining room and set a formal table for three and call the guys in.

  “Okay,” I tell them. “Which one’s your bread plate? And don’t say it out loud.”

  “You know I know which one’s my bread plate,” Ignatius says.

  “Well, let Kevin do it, then.”

  Kevin, unfortunately, picks the wrong one.

  “No, that’s the one for the person next to you. Yours is on the left, but we should give him a shot anyway, Ignatius.”

  We go back into the kitchen and sit down at the bar. Ignatius gives Kevin his second shot, and me my fourth.

  “Leave the table set like that,” I tell Ignatius. “We’ll make a fancy dinner tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  They both carefully avoid any mention of the road trip, and Ignatius sends me to go study for my quiz.

  When I get up in the morning, Kevin’s still there, which is cool, but it makes me think of sex, which makes me miss Jason even more.

  “The game’s on this afternoon at four. With any luck, you’ll see him on TV,” Ignatius tells me.

  “Maybe we can Skype later. I’ll text him and ask.”

  “You most certainly will not. You go to your class and take your quiz, and then you can worry about chasing men.”

  “I’m not chasing anybody. He’s my boyfriend.”

  “Then let him suggest it.”

  “Oh, you and Uncle Tommy. You both have such old-fashioned ideas.”

  “The man chases the woman. Now go to school.”

  By the time I get home from school, Kevin’s gone to work.

  “What drudgery,” I say. “I’m glad I don’t have to work for a living.”

  “How’d you do on your quiz?”

  “Good. I think. I’m trying to get all A’s in case I fail one.”

  “You won’t fail one.”

  “I might. It’s a really hard class.”

  “You’ll do fine,” he tells me. “Now, what do you want for dinner?”

  “Are we waiting for Kevin?”

  “If you want.”

  “Well, I don’t have anything going on tomorrow, so it’s okay if we eat late and hang out.”

  “What shall we have?” he asks.

  “How about pot roast? We haven’t had a really good pot roast in ages.”

  “That’s not fancy.”

  “Well, it will be if we eat it off the good dishes. Or, we can have waffles. Waffles for dinner sounds like a good idea. Waffles on the good china. Won’t that be fun?”

  “Miranda, you’re all over the place. Besides, I don’t have a pot roast defrosted, so I’ll have to go to the store.”

  “Well, screw it, then. Let’s do waffles tonight and I’ll go with you to the store tomorrow.”

  “All right. Your phone’s ringing.”

  “Hello?” I answer.

  “Miranda? This is Jason.”

  “Hi, Jason,” I say, unable to mask my enthusiasm. “We’re having waffles tonight on the good china.”

  He laughs.

  “You’re so crazy. I wanted to see if you’re busy later. We should be done with the game by seven your time, so I should get back to the hotel by nine. Do you want to Skype with me when I get there?”

  “Yeah. That’d be perfect. Ignatius will be busy with Kevin, so I’ll have plenty of time.”

  “Well, watch the game and you’ll know if we go into extra innings or anything.”

  “Oh, I’ll watch it, just to see you and Uncle Tommy. Man, I love to watch him play.”

  “Do you? That’s sweet. You’ll probably see me, if you look hard enough. Once in a while, I even go out to the mound.”

  “I can’t wait. Don’t forget to Skype me.”

  “I won’t.”

  A couple of minutes after I hang up, the phone rings again.

  “Hey, Brat,” says Uncle Tommy. “You behaving?”

  “Of course. I studied for my Math quiz and everything.”

  “Good. Good. Are you listening to Ignatius and doing what he says?”

  “I always do.”

  “Good. Well, Jason says he’s going to Skype you, so maybe I’ll drop by his room and say hi, too. No promises, though, because a few of the guys are going out tonight.”

  “Okay. If I see you, I see you.”

  “If not, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Love you, Uncle Tommy.”

  “Love you, too, Brat.”

  “It was an amazing moment,” Jason tells me later. “I worked with this kid all through spring training to get him to adjust his pitch by just a hair, and tonight he finally got it.”

  “I’m glad I didn’t know you for spring training. All that time alone.”

  “It’s even worse than you think. Pitchers and catchers have to come out two weeks before anyone else.”

  “Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that.”

  “How was your pancake dinner?”

  “Waffles.”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “It was nice,” I tell him. “Kevin came over and I was teaching him all about which fork goes with which food. We were having a drinking contest yesterday about proper etiquette.”

  He laughs. “What?”

  “Yeah,” I tell him, and then I explain it.

  “Only you could think of something like that.”

  “I think Ignatius thought of it, to be technical, but I don’t remember anymore.”

  “I’m glad you’re having fun.”

  “Keeping my mind off you being gone, more like.”

  “That’s cool. That’s what I’ve been trying to do, too.”

  Just then, there’s a lot of commotion.

  “What’s happening?”

  “Nothing. My roommate just got in. You know the pitching coach, Brad Chandler?”

  “Yes, of course. Tell him I said hi.”

  Brad leans down, his head sideways next to Jason’s.

  “Hi, Miranda. We haven’t seen you out at the park for a long time.”

  “No. It gets kind of cold for me this time of year, unless I’m in a box.”

  “This kid treating you all right?”

 
“Yes. He’s very nice.”

  “Well, you two kids have a good time talking. I’m going down to the hotel bar.”

  “Have fun,” we both tell him.

  “Thanks, I will.”

  When he’s gone, Jason turns his attention back to me.

  “So, that’s what’s happening so far. The skipper’s all happy with me, and so is Brad.”

  “Well, good.”

  “What’re you doing tomorrow?”

  “I’m going to the grocery store with Ignatius. We’re going to make a pot roast.”

  “Well, you should call me when you get the chance.”

  “Or just call me again at nine if you want to,” I tell him. “We won’t be doing anything important at that hour.”

  “All right. You look beautiful tonight, Miranda. I like your hair in braids.”

  “Well, thank you, Jason. I like the way only half your mouth curls up when you grin.”

  He scratches his chin fuzz. “Like a stroke, you mean?”

  “No. Like a...I don’t know what, but it looks sweet.”

  With that, we hang up. I sit there staring at my blank screen for a moment, daydreaming about his face, and then I close my computer, feeling a little sad.

  Jason

  All I want to do is be home and see Miranda. We have two more games here in Boston, then three in Kansas City, and finally, four in Chicago. Before the game the next day, I go shopping for a surprise for Miranda. I want to find her something pretty to wear for our first time together, something that’ll make her feel less self-conscious about her scars. I try to pick a good store, so I go to Neiman Marcus. I’ve never been in the place before, but I know it’s the ritzy kind of place Miranda can afford to shop at. I head for the Lingerie department. Mostly, they have a lot of stuff for older ladies, but I spy something she might like near the far wall.

  I head over to the display of nightgowns, and there’s a tangerine paisley baby-doll nightie I think she’d like. It’s not pink, but I know tangerine would complement her hair and skin tone. Also, It’s got a halter neckline, which will cover up most of the scar and hopefully give her more confidence. The panties don’t come with it, so I go find a g-string that sort of matches, and add that to my purchases. The nightgown sets me back about seventy-five dollars, and the panties another twenty, but it’ll be worth it to see her face when she opens it up.

  I want to get her some jewelry, too, but the only time she’s ever called me her boyfriend is when I was spanking her, so I’m not sure I should. I tell myself to stop being afraid of rejection all the time, so I settle on a bracelet made of sterling silver, rock crystaland pink tourmaline. As for the rest, I’ll buy some scented candles for the condo and some flowers to give her when I get back to town.

  We finally leave Boston on a winning streak. Miranda and I have a pretty good thing going. We either call or Skype or both every day, and the more I talk to her, the deeper my feelings go. I wouldn’t say I’m lovesick or anything, but there’s never been a road trip that felt so long.

  The second day in Kansas, Miranda surprises me. We play an early game and I get back to the hotel around six-thirty or seven. I call her to let her know I’m in my room and done for the day.

  “Good,” she tells me. “Want to have some phone sex?”

  I’m shocked, so I don’t say anything for a minute, but eventually, I find my voice.

  “No,” I tell her. “No, I do not.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m waiting for the real thing.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes. When I get home, we’re going straight to my place for a special date. In fact, I bought you a couple of presents.”

  “You did?” she asks, sounding happy. “What are they?”

  “I’m not telling. You’ll just have to wait until I get home.”

  “Oh, Jason, it feels like a year from now.”

  “I know, baby. It feels like that for me, too, but it’s only five days.”

  “Thank God.”

  “How’s school going?”

  “Okay.”

  “Did you have any tests?”

  She doesn’t say anything at first, but then she admits she had another quiz, and this time she only got a C-.

  “Well, what are we going to do about that?” I ask, feeling my heart start to beat in my throat.

  “Um, I don’t know. Study more?”

  “You didn’t study?”

  “Not as much as usual. I was busy doing other stuff.”

  “So, do you think you should be punished?”

  “If you do.”

  Her voice is barely a whisper when she says it, and I know she’s craving a punishment.

  “Then that’s another thing you’ll be getting when I get home. We’ll get the punishment out of the way and then we’ll make love.”

  “’Kay.”

  I hear the lock in the door and warn her that my roommate’s home.

  “Bring a hairbrush in your purse,” I tell her, just before the door opens.

  “’Kay.”

  After that, we chat a little more, but we’re both so aroused by then it’s hard to think of anything else to talk about.

  “I’m going to go,” I tell her. “Call me later if you get bored.”

  “I will.”

  “I want you to make sure you study your Math.”

  “Yes, Jason.”

  “All right. Talk to you later.”

  When I’m done talking to Miranda, I glance over at Brad, who’s grinning.

  “She’s awful cute, isn’t she?” he asks.

  “She is.”

  “Tommy doesn’t mind?”

  “No. He’s the one who set us up.”

  “I give you six months and you’ll be tying the knot.”

  “Nope. Not until she graduates.”

  He claps a hand on my shoulder and gives me a squeeze.

  “She’s a nice girl. You be good to her.”

  “I will.”

  When we finally get to Chicago, I invite my family to come to an early game. Afterwards, we go out to dinner and my parents are excited to hear I have a girlfriend. They don’t like it too much when they find out she’s the niece and ward of one of our players, but I try to reassure them.

  “Don’t worry,” I tell my dad, cutting into my steak. “I don’t do anything he doesn’t approve of.”

  “Well, someday you’re bound to. It just happens.”

  “Well, we’ll deal with that when the time comes.”

  I lay my fork down and pick up my glass of wine, but I catch my mother’s glance. She’s smiling, her arms crossed over her chest.

  “What?” I ask her, setting my glass back down.

  “Nothing. It’s just that you’re getting so mature.”

  “It’s the job.”

  “I think it’s more than just that, don’t you, hon?”

  “Yep,” says my dad, picking up his glass of whiskey and taking a drink. “You’re turning into a real man lately, son.”

  “What’s with the fuzz on your chin, though?” asks my snotty little sister, Veronica.

  “Shut up,” I tell her, stroking it. “Miranda likes it.”

  “What does she look like? Do you have a picture?” Mom asks.

  “No, actually I don’t. Huh. I’ll have to get one.”

  “You still haven’t told us what she looks like,” says Joanna, another of my sisters.

  “Well, she has dark hair down to her waist, but she usually wears it in two braids.”

  “Like an Indian?” asks Veronica. “Excuse me, I mean a Native American?”

  “Yeah, except she looks kind of Goth in them, only not creepy and morose. She’s actually very perky.”

  Nellie, my middle sister, wrinkles her nose.

  “She sounds weird.”

  “She’s nice. She’s got the right kind of face for braids, big, brown eyes and a serious expression. Except she’s really bubbly and upbeat. It’s a funny thing. It’
s her smile, I guess. When she’s resting and she thinks no one’s looking, she’s all serious, but as soon as you talk to her, she comes alive.”

  “Sounds like a big phony to me,” says Nellie.

  Lucky for her, I’m busy chewing my steak, but my mom takes care of it and tells her to stop being so rude.

  “She sounds really nice to me,” says Joanna, my youngest (and favorite) sister.

  “Well, thanks,” I tell her, and finally swallow my food. “She is really nice.”

  “This is a hell of a halibut,” my dad tells me.

  “What’s her uncle’s name?” asks Joanna.

  “Tommy Wright. He’s the one who hit that home run in the sixth inning.”

  And Veronica says, “Oh, my God. He is so cute.”

  “Sorry. He’s got a girlfriend,” I lie, thinking about Vanessa, the reporter he took out.

  “Oh. Drag.”

  I glance up and see our server, a cute little blonde, coming our way.

  “Would anybody like any dessert?” she asks.

  “Just some containers,” says my mom.

  “Can I get a piece of cheesecake to go?” I ask.

  “Plain, or with caramel sauce?”

  “Sauce, please.”

  The server returns a few minutes later, bearing my cheesecake and containers for mom and the girls. My dad tries to reach for the check, but I grab it first.

  “No way. My treat.”

  “Thanks, son. You’re a good man.”

  My dad drops me back at the hotel. Having survived dinner with my family, I feel like I could use a drink, so I head to the bar downstairs. It just so happens that Tommy’s there with a few of the guys.

  “So I have Miranda,” he’s telling them, “and she’s projectile puking all over the place, so I call the doctor and they want me to bring her in. I’m like, ‘I’m not putting a puking kid in my new car. Just prescribe something to stop it.’ Hey, Jason. Just talking about your sweetheart. Come on over here and have a beer.”

  He calls for an extra glass. I pull up a chair and gladly let him pour me some beer.

  “Where’ve you been?”

  “Dinner with my family. Oh, my God, my sisters are so annoying. I thought they’d outgrow it, but they’re even bigger bitches than they used to be.”

  “Have you talked to Miranda yet this evening?

  “No. Not yet. Why?”

  “No reason. She was just asking for you, is all. Think we’ll sweep the Sox tomorrow?”